That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
