Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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