i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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