it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
