I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
