When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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