Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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