Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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