Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
