Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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