well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
