Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize
