I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
