um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
