But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
