And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
