Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
