Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
