Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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