so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize