the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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