i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
