he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The uberlube is also flammable
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
