yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
