He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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