I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
