I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
