if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I need moral support for this bender
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
