Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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