So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
