hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
