I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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