Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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