i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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