Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
