Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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