so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
