i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
