and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
