I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
