i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
