I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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