I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
