TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
