I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
