People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
