hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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