Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
North Korea, Best Korea!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
