It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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