I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
